- I might go to Wal-Mart at 10 p.m. Just to make fun of the people going to Wal-Mart at 10 p.m.
- In this world of uncertainty and confusion, I take comfort in knowing no one else really knows what the F they're doing either
- YOUR SELF-WORTH IS NOT BASED ON YOUR POSSESSIONS, HOARDERS, HAVEN'T YOU SEEN EPISODES OF YOUR OWN SHOW?
- Somebody needs to tell those cinnamon scented pine cones to calm the F down
- "Yeah!"-me contributing to every conversation I've ever been in
- Dentists can lean on you as much as they want & they can't even get in trouble for it
- Crazy straws make everything taste better. That's science.
- Nobody's ever been pissed off while eating a quesadilla.
- After carefully controlled experimentation I've determined only two uses for a turkey baster.
- I use vanilla scented candles as deodorant because being weird doesn't take a day off.
- Slow dancing with the turkey. The turkey's so drunk it's almost embarrassing.
- The best thing about being allergic to bees is when killer bees come your way, it's just business as usual.
- That awkward moment when you have to explain how you called "shotgun infinity" 15 years ago, so get the hell outta my seat, grandma.
- When someone sits down and crosses their legs I'm all CHALLENGE ACCEPTED and I cross my eyes and then it's their move again.
- They don't put doors on Jeeps so that dudes who drive Jeeps can't trap girls inside them. Good thinking, Jeep makers.
- I don't think Gordon Lightfoot would've been as successful had he have stuck with his original name Gordon Giantnuts.
- I have no idea what kids are talking about.
Monday, February 20, 2012
Posted by Krista at 1:16 PM