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Monday, February 20, 2012

Eating meatless chicken but can't remember what I did wrong.

  • Add an apostrophe to The Adventures of Tintin and you have a way cooler movie about getting ur car windows darkened & avoiding the popo & etc
  • "I hate you so much I could just rip my own butt off and die!" ~ Bees
  • High-heeled sneakers, I do not accept your challenge.
  • Let's not say you're fat. Let's say it's fascinating your birth certificate is a bathtub filled with ranch dressing.
  • It's funny how we all just accepted the song 'Black Velvet' as if it actually made any sense.
  • Now ask yourself: Am I working hard enough to make sure every single person I come into contact with knows I'm vegan?
  • Just made my books dust hats, some little dust pants and dust boots to go with their dust jackets.
  • Apparently social services doesn't cover "feeling weird at parties."
  • I'm not allowed near playgrounds because of a court order that says I'm way too good at monkey bars. (I'm also pretty money on a slide)
  • It's a pity that cows have four stomachs but no way to make breakfast burritos.
  • I spent the last hour molding a little man out of Starbursts and now I have to explain to him about death.
  • It's good you mentioned your cupcakes are "made by hand" because everyone would've thought they were made by feet
  • In Texas, you can run over teenage boys weaRing saggy skinny jeans without penalty. I'm not gonna lie, it's pretty rad.
  • Once again you have grossly underestimated the amount of paper I require to dry my hands, automatic paper towel dispenser.
  • If you think people are jealous of you, it's only because you don't realize that you're lame

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