- Kill them with kindness! Or a hammer.
- I'm taking a picture of all my animals in a bathtub and sending it to Mountain Dew because Christmas traditions are important to me
- If you fall asleep on a yoga mat you're not lazy you're me and you're WONDERFUL
- My shower has two temperatures: 'shampoo bottle microphone' and 'vacant stare.'
- Mad cows why are you so mad you don't even have to have a job you are a cow
- I'm green in the way that I'll run my air conditioner to offset the heat put out by my enormous television.
- I won't regret my tattoos when I'm 80 because I'll be 80 and gross.
- The extra fork in the takeout bag is for your sad.
- I'd push an entire family down a set of stairs. You don't even have to give me the Klondike bar. I'll just do that shit.
- Can someone tell these teenaged dudes that no girl is going to date them if they wear those stupid Cookie Monster hats?
- Tortillas are cool because I love food but I also have a strong interest in tiny blankets
- If I see you stringing popcorn on your tree, I'm bringing a movie and eating it.
- I will do ANYTHING for my friends ANYTIME during a commercial
- We built this city on rock n roll, bits of hair, couple of pieces of carpet we found. It's a horrible place to live honestly.
- I've never met a woman with sideburns who didn't deserve them
- "Wear tops that are comfortable enough to both sleep and run errands in and pants that make your ass look like a mystery" - my fashion blog.
- IT's' okay to kick people's barstools out from under them as long as you yell "JENGA" before they hit the floor.
- I forgot to tell you there was a woman who smelled like funnel cakes next to me in a store today ok good talk
Monday, February 20, 2012
Posted by Krista at 1:12 PM