- Some people are energized by new challenges. I usually just start thinking about how soft my pillow is.
- A big problem with going the extra mile is the initial mile.
- I BOUGHT A CABLE KNIT SWEATER JUST FOR TONIGHT BUT DON'T MENTION IT, NO WORRIES, LETS TALK ABOUT DESSERT SOME MORE
- Stop acting so damn mature, people younger than me.
- Where I grew up, a smiley face burnt into your arm with a disposable BIC lighter was regarded as some pretty decent tattoo artwork.
- Guys, you're not SUPPOSED to fold fitted sheets. That's why they're so flammable.
- Don't even think about just Emailing me a question in the subject line.
- People with bad plastic surgery: I always grimace horribly immediately after passing you.
- I'm only happy when the waiter makes eye contact with someone else while giving the specials.
- The closest I get to meditation is the brief moment when I sit in my car after I've turned the engine off.
- You guys realize we can still make forts in our living room, right? Only now, we can fill them with alcohol. You're welcome.
- Telling someone they smell better than a new He-Man action figure is the nicest compliment you can give.
- IT's' weird how I'll have grandkids someday and will still be drawing naked people on dirty cars with my finger.
- I invented four new karate moves while trying to get an automatic paper towel dispenser to work!
- Why don't frogs just eat normal things like mashed potatoes?
- I'm getting some neck and throat tattoos just to let people know that I have no interest in being anyone's Emergency Contact.
Monday, February 20, 2012
Posted by Krista at 1:00 PM