come see my art

Come see my art at painturdreams.weebly

Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Take a deep breath and eat a pie in the bathtub.

  • I bet peeping toms see a lot more nose picking than they bargain for.
  • My Almost-Out-Of-Ketchup face is pretty serious.
  • "I really think we could be more than just friends," Christopher Robin whispered as he realized he was 18 years old and talking to a bear.
  • The purest love in the world exists between a rapper and his exotic fish tank.
  • They say God won't give you more than you can handle, but a family event is going to keep me from watching soapnet all day. WTF?
  • Having a one-track mind isn’t so bad if the track leads to Magic Bacon Land.
  • Naming your daughter after a gemstone is a good way to break it to her early that you can't afford to pay for college.
  • If you love someone set them free. Then send them a text message every hour letting them know you've set them free.
  • My biggest fear is that one day I might be driving next to a cliff when a Sammy Hagar song comes on the radio.
  • The plaintiff? I'd like to think I'm more the girl-next-dooriff, your Honor.
  • If I'm ever being chased by a killer I'm gonna bang my head against a wall and hopefully stay knocked out until my therapy appointment.
  • All the hormones we’re pumping into food are making our diets dangerously sexy.
  • If I hadn't paid attention in Spanish class, I wouldn't have been able to order a purple sock in this Argentinian restaurant.
  • What are we doing, just standing around not digging for fossils?
  • I can’t believe how much of this stuff at the self checkout is free.
  • I heard that purgatory is just a room full of teenage girls blogging and rolling their eyes at you.
  • LA where do you go to take a shit? Downtown area has no public restrooms WHY (also heads up that's why it smells like pee btw)
  • Facebook is great for catching up on what your friends have been up to without you.
  • When a character in a movie says the title in the middle of dialogue they should be required to wink and make tiny guns with their fingers.
  • Instead of teaching kids about birth control they should just make them watch these scary movies where all the slutty teens get butchered.

No comments:

Post a Comment

Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.